Entertainment Land

The Room Review

There are bad movies. There are terrible movies. And then there are movies that they are so bad that they are good. The Room is one of the best bad movies ever made. Helmed by “masterful” director Tommy Wiseau, The Room tells the story of a happy banker who is married to his fiancé (or should I say future wife?) Lisa, who is a complete slut and cheats on his best friend Mark. All the while there’s this kid named Denny, who we barely know anything about, but as the movie progresses you realize that it’s better that way. The Room is constantly hilarious because of how bad it is. Tommy Wiseau gives the worst performance in cinematic history as Johnny. His performance is so… awkward and so bad that it’s uncanny. But weirdly his terrible performance is like the fourth or fifth thing that’s wrong with this horses ass of a picture. He’s probably the most sympathetic character in the entire movie, since every other character are either bitches or jackasses.

Lisa doesn’t love Johnny anymore, so she starts to sleep with his best friend Mark and start to tells lies like Johnny drinks and that he hits her to her mother to which she dumbly replies “Johnny doesn’t drink,” completely missing the point.

The film is filled with pointless characters and pointless scenes that don’t connect and don’t make any sense. The dialogue is laughable and atrocious. It’s by far one of the worst scripts ever written. Just analyzing the famous rooftop scene, in which Johnny learns what Lisa told about him and tells Mark about it. It is one of the worst scenes ever put to film with the worst piece of acting ever done by a performer.

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Johnny: I did nawt hit her, it’s bullshit, I did nawt hit her. I did not. (Throws bottle on the ground). Oh I Mark.

 

Mark: Hi Johnny. What’s up?

 

Johnny: I have a problem with Lisa. She says that I hit her.

 

Mark: What? Did you?

 

Johnny: No it’s not true don’t even ask. So what’s new with you?

 

Mark: I’m just sitting up here thinking you know. I got a question for you.

 

Johnny: Yeah.

 

Mark: You think girls like to cheat like guys do?

 

Johnny: What makes you say that?

 

Mark: I don’t know. I don’t know. Just thinking.

 

Johnny: I don’t have to worry about Lisa, because she’s loyal to me.

 

Mark: You never know man. People are very strange these days. I knew a girl she had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it and beat her up so bad she ended up in a hospital on Guerrero Street.

 

Johnny: Heh, heh, heh. What a story Mark!

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As you can see, the dialogue consists of characters saying random thoughts to one other without actually answering each other’s questions. You’d think I’d just made it up but it’s from the actual movie. None of the conversations in The Room have any purpose or meaning, they’re just there to draw in the run time of this movie. They’re completely pointless. However, they are just hilarious because of the absurdity and the timing of the lines that are spoken which barely make any sense from scene to scene. There are middle school plays that have better written screenplays and better acting than this. There’s also the famous flower shop scene, which has become iconic at this point for how bad it really is.

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Johnny: Can I have a dozen roses please?

 

Store Owner: Oh hi Johnny, I didn’t know it was you. (Grabs the flowers and gives it to Johnny). There you go.

 

Johnny: That’s me! How much is it?

 

Store Owner: It’ll be eighteen dollars.

 

Johnny: Here you go, keep the change. Hi doggy. (Pets dog on the counter) and leaves.

 

Store Owner: You’re my favorite customer.

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This whole scene feels like it’s filmed in fast forward. The actors don’t feel like they’re on the same page at all and the timing just feels off. How could she have not known it was him? He was directly in front of her and she even declares that he is her favorite customer. Is she blind?! There was no reason for him to respond “That’s me!” She gave him no opportunity to say that. This whole scene feels out of place.

It’s impossible to review this movie without mentioning the cheesy and endless sex scenes. There’s a bunch of sex scenes that don’t make any sense and which always happen at the wrong moment. Denny arrives to visit them and Johnny and Lisa just go upstairs to have sex.

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Who does that? What is the kid supposed to do? Just leave I guess but then he jumps in the bed with them and it’s this awkward scene that has no purpose only to leave us feel creeped out and emotionally disturbed for all the wrong reasons.

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The sex scenes are also horribly filmed and it looks like Johnny is fucking Lisa’s belly button. It feels like a cheesy 1990’s sex scene even though the movie came out in the 2000’s. There’s maybe five sex scenes that feel so off and feel like a sex-tape gone wrong with terrible R&B songs that don’t feel like they fit in at all. They also take so long to actually have sex. They start during the day, and then the film cuts to nighttime and they still haven’t done it. She puts her hair down, puts it back up again and they pillow fight… this movie is all kinds of awful.

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There are so many repetitive scenes throughout this film. The talks between Lisa and her mother, which always consists of her being not happy with Johnny and her mother telling her that she’s dying.

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There is probably thirty full minutes of characters throwing footballs around while talking. There’s even a scene where the gang heads off to play football in their tux before a wedding and we never even get to see the wedding! It’s so pointless.

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This scene happens maybe five times during this 90-minute movie. And there’s also the spoon photographs in the background, which have no real purpose but they’re there and it’s amazing. People are invited to screenings for this film all over the world and they are encouraged to throw plastic spoons at the screen every time there’s a spoon related image in the background because of how ridiculous it is.

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Overall, The Room is one of the worst films ever made and contains the worst performance ever put on film. The script is ludicrous, the acting is horrendous and the direction is awful. However, it’s all worth it for a great cinematic experience that will leave you gut busting laughing than some actual comedies that you might have seen. You will never see a spoon the same way again.

 

Rating: F

 

Rating on the It’s So Bad It’s Good Scale: A+

 

 

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